Fear has a strange way of disguising itself. It appears as self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination, or that nagging voice whispering, “What if you’re not good enough?” For years, I let that voice dictate my choices, avoiding risks and staying comfortably within my comfort zone. That is, until one fateful day in high school when I stumbled upon an episode of Oprah.
She inspired her audience to confront their fears, embrace discomfort, and view fear as a guide instead of a barrier. Her words penetrated the walls I had built around myself, illuminating a truth I was not prepared to acknowledge:
“Fear isn’t a roadblock—it’s an invitation to grow beyond what you’ve known.”
That was my lightbulb moment. I realized that the catastrophic failures I envisioned were far worse than any actual outcome could ever be. I also noticed something profound: the more significant the fear, the more I cared. Fear wasn’t trying to stop me but revealing what I wanted. My intuition wasn’t guiding me away from fear but pushing me toward it.
The Arena: Choosing Courage Over Comfort
As Brené Brown reminds us through Theodore Roosevelt’s words in Daring Greatly:
“It is not the critic who counts... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... who errs and comes up short again and again... but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause... who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly...”
Sitting in my living room as a shy, closeted, and terrified teenager, I decided it was time to step into the arena. I was going to run for student body president. Why? Because I was afraid of public speaking, and running for president meant delivering a speech in front of the entire school.
The thought of standing up there tightened my chest and made my hands sweat. However, I refused to dwell on the fear of the final moment. Instead, I focused on breaking down the goal into small, manageable steps:
Summon the courage to apply.
Create campaign posters.
Ask friends for help hanging the posters.
Every step felt manageable on its own. The speech was the final item on the timeline, and I stayed focused on the task at hand until my name was called to speak.
When that moment came, my body screamed to run. But I stood, took a breath, and delivered my speech. I survived—and then some. I won. The following year felt like Revenge of the Nerds, with the band and theater kids taking over the school. More importantly, I learned that fear loses its grip when you tackle it one step at a time.
Fear as a Goalpost
I’ve applied this lesson many times, from coming out as gay to auditioning for musical theater roles to publishing my tarot deck. I’ve learned that fear acts as a compass, directing me toward what truly matters.
When I came out, I outlined it in steps, just like my campaign:
Write an email to my sisters.
Press send.
Find a way to inform my parents.
Yes, I hid for days after finally gathering the courage to send that email. But fear wasn’t the end—it was just the beginning. Each time I lean into fear, I grow. Each rejection, failure, and misstep has made me stronger, more authentic, and more creative.
Your Turn: Step Into the Arena
Now it’s your turn to step into the arena. Take a piece of paper and write down:
A goal that intimidates you—a dream that feels substantial, challenging, or beyond your reach.
Divide it into small, actionable steps. What can you do today to begin making progress toward it?
Commit to taking the first step.
Remember, you don’t have to conquer the entire mountain all at once. Just focus on the next step and then the one after that. Celebrate every small victory along the way, because vulnerability is courage in action.
Tools for the Journey
Feeling overwhelmed by fear or anxiety? Here are some tips to keep you grounded while working towards your goals:
Breathe: Take deep, intentional breaths to calm your nervous system.
Stay Present: Focus on the step ahead rather than the whole journey.
Journal: Write down your fears to lessen their grip on you.
Visualize Success: Imagine yourself thriving in the arena.
Celebrate: Acknowledge your bravery each time you move forward.
If you need extra support, Angel Party 365 is here to help. This daily tool offers prompts, affirmations, and a place to track your progress one day at a time. It’s your companion for staying present, managing anxiety, and celebrating your big and small achievements.
The Call to Action
Fear isn’t your enemy; it’s an invitation to grow. The next time fear appears, don’t let it hold you back. Step into the arena, one small step at a time, and observe how you transform.
You’ve got this! I can’t wait to see you shine.
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